Open Mic: Stan [Remix/Parody]

 

 

Dear Cal,
I emailed you before but I guess you didn't get it
I left my msn, MySpace and my AIM on the message
I had a thought though, I wrote your address quite quickly
And never got an email back to confirm delivery
But anyways, fuck it whats been up man? Got ya mic yet?
Im bout to do audio like you, just aint joined the site yet
When I choose my name I'll be called Kalibra
One day I hope we'll meet up and I get to see ya
I know you hear it daily, but you're best, I already told ya right?
I just finished readin' all your previous battles and Open Mics
And I made a fansite full of all of your biggest fans
Im the only member but it'll grow when people start to hear you man
Anyways I hope you get this fam, hit me back
Just to chat
Truely yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan.

 

 

Dear Cal,
You still aint hit me back, its been about a week
Ill start to think your a noob if you don't answer me
If you didn't want a conversation, you could pretend to
But you shouldn't have left your msn for me to send to
Thats my fucking feelings man, and you don't give a shit
I've messaged you like everyday, and you keep ignorin' it
Thats pretty shitty man, your like my fuckin' idol
I want to be just like you, no-one likes you more than I do
Remember when we met on MySpace?

 You said if I write to you you would write back
You fuckin' lied to me and I don't like that
See im just like you in a way, I know my father to,
He's divorced aswell but I guess that doesn't bother you
See I can relate to what your sayin' in your text
So once I've read ya fuckin' freestyles I cant wait to read whats next
Cause I dont really do shit else
So that shit helps to fill the day
I've even stuck your head on-top of my picture with Dr.Dre
Sometimes I try to write shit just to see if I can do
Something that could match or even come close comapred to you
See everything you write is dope, and I respect you cause you tell it
My net bills expensive cause im on your MySpace 24/7
But no-one likes you but me, try facin' it
They just haven't realised that you're the greatest yet
You gotta email me man, I'll be the only fan you'll ever loose
Sincerly yours
Stan.
P.S. We should collab together too!

 

 

Dear Mr. Im to good to call or write to my fan
This'll be the last email I ever send you man
It's been 2 weeks and still no word, I dont deserve it
I know you got the emails, I slowed down and wrote the address perfect
So this is the virus im sending you, I hope you download
It'll make your comp explode, its called "Saddam Mode"
Hey Cal, I wrote a freestyle, dare me to post?
But it might turn to a competition of who can hate me the most
You could've saved me from lookin' stupid, but now its too late
I've started a battle with I-kon with a 24 hour due date
So dont be suprised if I no-show, I'll just be missin'
Im about to get owned, pwned and KO'd in just 1 written
When all I wanted was a lousy comment or a call
Infact, you're not even in my MySpace top friends anymore
See I loved you Cal, we could have collabed together, think about it
You've ruined it now, I hope you cant write a free thats dope, I doubt it
I hope you cant sleep and you dream about me
I hope your conscience eats at you and you cant free without me
See Cal? Fuck off pop-up im tryna type
See they come up sometimes when im on this site
But I didnt close it down, I just minimized, im pretty sure
That if its still open then hopefully I wont get anymore
Well gotta go, almost all my words gone
Oh shit, I forgot, I never even logged on!

 

 

Dear Stan,
I meant to email sooner, but my net was broke
You said you were gonna start to write, how did that go?
Look I'm really flattered you made the fansite man
But it kinda sucks that you're my only fan
Sorry I didn't message sooner, but I made it son
You said you like my freestyle, well heres my lastest one
But whats this shit you said you gonna send a virus?
Im just a little late on emailing theres no need to be like this
You got some issues Stan, its really kinda creepy
Knowning that the only sale I've ever made was you buying my CD
And what's this shit you say bout us collabin' together?
I would dude but personally I think PB and CHAIN are better
I know you challenged Kon by accident
You'll lose, dont follow my career of battlin'
I hope you get to read this message, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you take me off your top friends, look, I'll put you in mine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I've inspired you but Stan
Why are you so mad? Understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just dont want you to post a free thats wack
Cause theres haters out there, they'll laugh and thats a fact
I seen this one guy on the site, posting a free called 'Black & White'
And we just sat there laughin', cause he didn't have the skill to write
And we didnt leave any feed, but when someone proped him on the post
We accused him of having a 2nd account made just to boast
I never saw the connection, he was just stupid cause he new
Come to think about it, his name was... No, it wasn't you

 

Damn!

 

maybe took the stan copying eminem a bit far, as some lines seemed almost line fore line with the original.. but LOL at the topic and the execution was flames.. alot of funny lines and quotables .. ending was funny shit too

 

really enjoyable read, never thought about how much there was lol..