Open Mic: The Medical Subject |
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Cuba
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Topic: The Medical SubjectPosted: 04 April 2010 at 5:32pm |
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Topic = Write a poem on a Medical Subject
I am the medical subject. Though it might not seem so to the general public, My problems are complex like a federal budget, There’s a terrible subtext, but I keep it hidden away Spills out with every sleight and cynical phrase, Keeps building up ‘til it becomes a ripple of rage Cascades as a tsunami, washes like a limitless wave I mimic the sane...but it’s as fake as Botox And sci-fi films with cyborgs and faceless robots It’s an ancient torment, rattling my sanity Hanging over my head like the sword of Damocles It haunts my family, and taunts us happily Without any physical marks of dauntless savagery The reports are fallacy, thoughts of cohorts Tragically sent by rouge courts to badger me, The symptoms of a system that fails the victims With deficiency much deeper than that AIDS affliction It eats at me with a gentle shrillness Hatching into larvae of my mental illness I feel it crawling, slowly, constant Wholly tortures my lowly conscious, They’ll call me bonkers, as pompous prospers Like they ‘can’t believe he’s the son of doctors’ Causing gossip, hoard and swap it, more can profit As they sell my soul with every torpid topic, Maybe not, as paranoia’s a crescendo With each allegro the tempo in my head grows, It felt cold, but the rhythm’s spinning rapidly Inducing a tornado, delivered it to capture me I’m dancing to the melody of silence, As the wind wisps across my eyelids, They can’t diagnose this; can you read it on a monitor? Would be better off with a clairvoyant and barometer, They can’t trick me, I still avoid the moniker Never been one for labels like economy ranges In supermarkets, because that’s who the stupor targets And makes you look on best friends as they were possibly strangers Waiting for an interlude, need to appease the sponsors Otherwise they’ll cut me off, refuse to feed my monsters I’m losing touch, submerging into my own world And won’t allow you access without hand signs and code words It’s hard to access healthcare under these circumstances When you’re expecting posturing crossed with certain glances And every aspect confirms your suspicions entirely Like when the last company didn’t make a decision to hire me There’s a sinister irony given my current occupation That I’m paying the cost for a false inoculation It spreads like a virus to a wider population There is no immunity, can’t find an ethical subset In this diseased principality we’re all medical subjects |
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CHAIN
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Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 04 April 2010 at 9:13pm |
back to doing this shit again, huh that was fly as hell, lol ![]() best shit out right now, tell 'em I said it " It haunts my family, and taunts us happily Without any
physical marks of dauntless savagery It eats at
me with a gentle shrillness Hatching into larvae of my mental
illness " yup! |
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-Orion-
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Joined: 08 April 2004 Location: DisturbinLondon Status: Offline Points: 9598 Crew: Renegades Text Rank: #1 Stats: 90-4-1 Form: WWWWNW |
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Posted: 19 April 2010 at 7:39pm |
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MetaphOrical mOnster
SecOnd to One, sOn, secOnd tO One |
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They just said that FUCKIN' with me They didn't mean it Nah . . . |
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-Que-
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Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 26 April 2010 at 5:27am |
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Dammm!! why is folks sleeping on this?!!?...Aint but a few replies.The shit was off the ricter!!
It’s an ancient torment, rattling my sanity Hanging over
my head like the sword of Damocles It haunts my family, and
taunts us happily Without any physical marks of dauntless
savagery ^^Ha Ha ....my kind of scripting...nice!! So here we are with another of my fav bars: waiting for interlude,need to appease my sponsors otherwise they'll cut me off,refuse to feed my monsters Man this whole drop was next to ILL....Nice scripting and concepts were needless to say ...good.Stay up Fam |
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Cuba
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Posted: 11 May 2010 at 5:31pm |
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Gracias
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Kosmosis
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Joined: 12 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 3264 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-15-1 Form: WWLLNL |
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Posted: 11 May 2010 at 5:36pm |
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long ago you earned my respect, and this is why.
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Receiving backhanded compliments from Orion since 11-28-13.
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Kosmosis
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Joined: 12 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 3264 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-15-1 Form: WWLLNL |
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Posted: 11 May 2010 at 5:37pm |
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Waiting for an interlude, need to appease the sponsors
Otherwise they’ll cut me off, refuse to feed my monsters
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Receiving backhanded compliments from Orion since 11-28-13.
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$n00z
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Posted: 05 September 2010 at 1:45pm |
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nice work. had to google a few of your big ass words lol. my fav part was this...
They can’t trick me, I still avoid the moniker
Never been one for labels like economy ranges
In supermarkets, because that’s who the stupor targets
And makes you look on best friends as they were possibly strangers
Like how u switched it up from a AABB rhyme scheme to ABAB . Havent seen that up here before. It made it interesting. luv dat type shit. GREAT WORK ON THIS ONE |
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U already know...
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Demonic
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Posted: 05 September 2010 at 8:05pm |
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Great work man kept well to your topic... awesome flow through out. Enjoyed the read
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Cuba
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Posted: 22 April 2011 at 11:19am |
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How did I not win that competition...what a robbery!!
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Naught Shawn
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Posted: 22 April 2011 at 1:00pm |
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Flow is insane, to say the least.
To say the most would be impossible.... as I am at a loss for words.
Keep it flowin Owen.
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rapdisup
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Posted: 22 April 2011 at 9:30pm |
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dope as hell im wonderin how i missed this defo nice read cubes ya need this sorta shyt rocking a beat man wud be dope with canabis or sumone droppin it
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The Dr said it can't be beaten,I replied it 'can-sir'!
It aint over till I Rapdisup |
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-Orion-
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Joined: 08 April 2004 Location: DisturbinLondon Status: Offline Points: 9598 Crew: Renegades Text Rank: #1 Stats: 90-4-1 Form: WWWWNW |
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Posted: 21 May 2011 at 1:50pm |
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Owen Watson's in the house?
My nigga.
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They just said that FUCKIN' with me They didn't mean it Nah . . . |
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J504
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Posted: 22 May 2011 at 10:44pm |
So nice, So nice - Orion had to feed it twice.
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-Orion-
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Posted: 23 May 2011 at 12:35am |
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You all over my trail... good for you, keepin' busy
But really, I'd forgotten this piece and further still forgotten I'd given feedback... didn't realise it was old. I see now it got re-upped
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They just said that FUCKIN' with me They didn't mean it Nah . . . |
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J504
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Posted: 23 May 2011 at 12:49am |
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what kind of gOd doesn't want followers?
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Kosmosis
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Posted: 23 May 2011 at 2:08am |
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Shit...speaking of which.....
Braaaaaaaaaap! |
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Receiving backhanded compliments from Orion since 11-28-13.
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Lax
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Posted: 23 May 2011 at 5:40pm |
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What they all say. Incredible piece
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King Jehu
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Posted: 25 May 2011 at 5:56pm |
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Second to none.
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Insert something rappy here
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-Orion-
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Posted: 27 May 2011 at 8:27pm |
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smfh
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They just said that FUCKIN' with me They didn't mean it Nah . . . |
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