- Topical - _Acid vs Smooth_
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Battle Ground
Forum Name: Text Battle Archive
Forum Description: This is where all the closed battles go.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24224
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 4:53am
Topic: - Topical - _Acid vs Smooth_
Posted By: Smoothtung
Subject: - Topical - _Acid vs Smooth_
Date Posted: 10 March 2013 at 3:43pm
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24 lines. Topic: - "From the POV of a monster, a beast or some such thing who dwells in his own evil surroundings, fighting a typical 'good guy' in himself.." Expected finish - 72 hours |
Replies:
Posted By: Acid
Date Posted: 10 March 2013 at 3:56pm
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chèque, my good sir. Quick question, is it fighting a 'good guy' himself, literally or IN himself, spiritually/ metaphorically? ------------- 
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Posted By: Smoothtung
Date Posted: 10 March 2013 at 4:01pm
| Oh I thought he was fighting like internal 'good side'. A monster on the outside, but goodness inside.. However apparent it may be |
Posted By: Acid
Date Posted: 10 March 2013 at 4:10pm
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Yeah just wanted to make sure
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Posted By: Acid
Date Posted: 10 March 2013 at 8:29pm
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Who am I? Well I thought I'd make a 'resume': What can I say, I play a fully paid painstaking game, Door to door like the plague, taking the sane, from their main-land to sprain, all the brains, create a little play back at hell, so vain ask for Satan to play back as well. Call me The evils, D'evil. From birth my plan was to be born post Armageddon, As the saliva from the fangs hits like a solid molt metal, So everyone Dies Hard, bu' my Will-is still sticks at Bay, Like Michael finds the Grim Reaper but with salt in his eyes, The Frighteners, So when you got a wound, I put rocks in your nine, You ain't clipping back for shit, I'm just stalling the signs, So I put an X to your head to clarify your haltering plight, I'm reaping your neighbourhood smelling out the death, And if there is none, I feed on the rotten underground flesh, Say I'm the beast thats creeps up the crutter bound mesh, But the mesh blocks in my mind, because I just found life, I'm full of rocks now inside, because I forgot I was human, Its way too humid, I fucked a bitch, and now she's fuming, It was positive on the little digital display, so now, my inbox is billed with medical dismay, woah how, did this happen I'm lost in my own way, so I gotta go pray, But at the church, or at that place, noone's gonna listen, I guess I gave birth, looking for death, first time I ever had a lesson, that applied to my brain, I can't contrast so quick from being a felon, to a father, I'm still trying to gather all the evil inside, but why.. do I keep getting lost in the little hoes eyes, Its confusing, I guess I've never thought this way, Now I gotta step back, Watch as my life plays away and I lose control of this pain.
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Posted By: Acid
Date Posted: 10 March 2013 at 8:31pm
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Sorry if the red-gray intro is supposed to count in the lines, It wasnt meant to count in the actual 24 lines :P -------------
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Posted By: Acid
Date Posted: 13 March 2013 at 4:07pm
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72 Hours? uppin for Smooth to drop his verse! -------------
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Posted By: Smoothtung
Date Posted: 13 March 2013 at 9:26pm
| Hey sorry acid had a rough couple of days give me til 10 tmrw morning or I dq |
Posted By: Acid
Date Posted: 13 March 2013 at 9:54pm
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Its cool, just checking to see if you forgot or something, do drop at some point though -------------
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Posted By: Smoothtung
Date Posted: 13 March 2013 at 10:05pm
| Aha of course man |
Posted By: Smoothtung
Date Posted: 14 March 2013 at 1:45am
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..steal buffed of mold, grout, and chromed out in acids.. Bolts found and fastened.. a cracked axle reinforced.. ..for a dirt track as massive as a back mountain ski resort. ..pyrotechnics fizzled out and cracked against the back stands. Fire exit signals through the black assist the trapped fans. ..i'm revved off the draw of an exhaust valve and locked foot. And crept aloft the pause as the fog fell like log wood. I'm a Monster of a truck.. solid black with sequenced stripes.. And a spot of luck from off the polish rag the previous night. Lighting was classically set - low and stadium style.. Through the silence scattered steps roamed the stone atrium tiles. I fought my pistons as they shot shy from the spark sphere.. The shock system sat in all confines of park gear. Driver won and turnt me up and listened to the engine whine. His visor scuffed and pursed shut and shifted for a second time.. Geared in and punched it just to see me stand straight up.. And I veered for a young chick with a kiwi champaign cup. Retracted my breaks as the driver turned tighter.. And balanced sideways on the curbs of my tires. Saw the stricken horror as it glistened off her dream-scape And boxed through friggin torture as he lifted up the e-brake. Skidded to a halt amidst the fears of the wide eyed. As the bigot proves to fall to the interior nice guy. |
Posted By: Smoothtung
Date Posted: 14 March 2013 at 2:49am
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Respect acid, enjoyed this. Votes? Favors tend to be returned. |
Posted By: DressToKill
Date Posted: 14 March 2013 at 1:00pm
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Smooth takes this by heads and shoulders and it wasn't because Acids verse was bad either. Acid your verse had its strong points but you need more consistency within your verses. I felt like you drew me in by building the story up with nice internal rhyming but then the end of the line didn't rhyme? It threw the whole bar off which made me have to re read it which in turn threw the flow off. Smooth you must of known you hit gold with this verse..it was descriptive superior to any verse I've seen you write thus far which is impressive. You had great imagery and flow plus the story was bang on..well done. Vote Smooth Good battle ------------- The original comeback kid |
Posted By: Smoothtung
Date Posted: 14 March 2013 at 1:12pm
| Good looks for the read fam |
Posted By: Acid
Date Posted: 14 March 2013 at 3:52pm
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Well hey Smoith thanks for throwing in the best verse youve ever written against me xD appreciate it though DTK thanjs for the vote
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Posted By: Exoduzt
Date Posted: 14 March 2013 at 7:21pm
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MVGT Smooth... Acid you got the vocab and the internal rhyming it's just the flow is way off...the internal rhyming is very strong it's just the follow through that is just not connecting...the potential you have is crazy Acid but I'm just not feeling this one....if you connect better with the end rhymes you'll be on your way Smooth: What can I say the rhyming and the descriptiveness of the story is at a superior level...the imagery is flawless and your story telling was brilliant...absolute amazing verse top to bottom I hope this was good enough of a breakdow -------------  |
Posted By: Flo_Matic
Date Posted: 15 March 2013 at 11:10pm
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Acid: You gave some imagery throghout your verse but just not enough. The rhyming reallly throws it off and you started early with the lack of rhyming so the verse started kinda dull. The concept was alright but it kind of drifted off at times.
Smooth: Nice concept and great rhyming scheme. Great imagery especially at the end , after the win when the truck was showing off:
Geared in and punched it just to see me stand straight up..
And I veered for a young chick with a kiwi champaign cup. Enjoyed the read.
For better imagery, rhyming and creativity my vote goes to:
Smooth ------------- Metaphorical Masters Move Mountains Mimicking Magic I got BIG GAME... |
Posted By: Smoothtung
Date Posted: 16 March 2013 at 2:48am
| Thanks for the read flo great looks. |
Posted By: Kay B
Date Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:58pm
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3-0 ko smooth wins -------------  |