[BL4] Cruel Summer [KOTM]
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Community Forums
Forum Name: Spotlight
Forum Description: Showcasing the best Open Mics, Audio Mics and Discussions LA has to offer
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=45245
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 5:05am
Topic: [BL4] Cruel Summer [KOTM]
Posted By: Neek
Subject: [BL4] Cruel Summer [KOTM]
Date Posted: 21 July 2017 at 9:20pm
 felt putrid breath down my back… the chhhhhhhuchhhh, wasnt a rattlesnake dilophosaurus spread his wings - peacock colorings knees knocked, heart beat stopped, fervently "what a wicked hangover," - fuck this fermented wheat did a "hey look" and booked for the monkey puzzle tree B.I.G's sasquatch analogy, abundantly covered me no time to be colicky, focus on notions of elbow grease stuck between brimstone and beaches of Normandy grabbed 2 branches, snapped them - halves of each wanted to make the tips jagged, to stab with ease but these, are more for whips, than a dagger it seems so its Indiana Jones meets Jurassic Park in 3D "Ughhhh", word up to Master P. a second beast has arrived, they begin gathering didnt think this was a pack animal breed, I concede got two options, "full gusto" cant backpeddle in peace gotta keep them separated, like its Offspring in 1993 thinking "Come Out and Play… " is a natural decree "take your time, just breathe" - echoing gallantly sweating buckets, aerial view, their under the sea crabs in a barrel mentality, utterly lunging the peak feelin punished in heat, start to percussion a beat "hey hey..over here" Timone and Pumbaa part 3 ingenuity left a few tricks up the sleeve skin itching, feeling like the quickening's in me briskly, break twigs and start flicking the beasts as brontosaurus approaches, im gripping the leaves he takes a big ass bite.. and all I can think… "oh shit" and then it swings… ------------- #Bananas 
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Replies:
Posted By: Crimson Juice
Date Posted: 23 July 2017 at 1:40am
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Yep this'll work just fine,in the first segment alone there as a lot of depiction cracking, via the colouring of a crested lizard and the alcohol (fermented wheat) causing you a headache,shit even the clanging of the knees & heart rate was simple but effective as this gave an added layer,the thing is you didn't rest on your laurels either,as you started with sprite you carried this though with sprite,the details are very subtle conifers trees/ Sasquatch in the next section also,the thing that I'm finding confusing (pls elaborate), is the spatial globe trotting,Normandy and the trees being in America and the crested lizard which is from Chile,anyways i also loved the film references within this piece,they came thick and fast really,this piece came with an off the cuff vibe stamped all over it, kind of abstract too,your certainly a knowledgeable guy,I had to read this 3 times before i got the imagery you were conveying,a real quick read too via the quick skit inclusions,added pace to the read and offered a course change to,clever really as you forced a way to give this drop scope,enjoyable read my man...peace. ------------- "You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance". |
Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 23 July 2017 at 5:22pm
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Spotlighted for BL4 - will read & feed later homie ------------- 
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Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 27 July 2017 at 6:33pm
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Nice little drop for the BL4 KOTM. Had some cool references and section of nice imagery. (dilo/peacock, jones/jurassic, and the sasquatch analogy). Other descriptions were down well like "echoing gallantly". lol at the timoan and pumba part 3. The ending I'm assuming that was him pulling the tree back and then flinging up and you went flying. That's what I am picturing anyways. I enjoyed it. Didn't have the depth, or background. Just threw you right into what was happened and how it ended. Kinda reminded me of a short skit before a one of those children movies starts.
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Posted By: SELF ACTIVATE
Date Posted: 08 August 2017 at 2:21am
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let's see how much of this De Vinci's Code we can crack.
"Who is SELF ACTIVATE for 2000, Alex."
"What is Jurassic Park?" "Be more specific please" "What is Newman doing in Jurassic Park" "The judges will accept that"
Lol The was dope. Your ability to interject comedy into a verses is second to none.
That's an obscure ass reference. But the imagery that single tree possesses on its own makes this entire drop worth it. I don't know who else would even think of some shit like that ... well, maybe Law, Cuba, or CHAIN ... but that's about it. Still dope asf.
"What is Who Shot Ya for 4000, Alex"
That's a Christopher Nolan level metaphor and comparisons. Hell and war (in particular WW2, more specifically, D Day) one in the same.
Your imagery is next level and your ability to paint a picture seems effortless. You're a master of word placement as well.
"Someone get Spielberg on the phone." "And what should we tell him" "That we've found his progeny and true heir to his empire"
You're showing your age. But don't forget the Na-nah na-nah.
HEEEYA, are you under 18? Cos now you're going too far!
The Little Mermaid, bro? Pass the DMT.
Nice transitional wordplay.
*Do.not.compute.hakuna.matata* ACCESS DENIED
[Insert Random Jurassic Park movie clip] Anyway, all jokes aside, this was a fun and wildly original read, full of dope imagery, nostalgic moments, pop culture references, and insane imagination. Only you would attempt something like this and not only succeed at it, but also exceed your audience's collective expectations. Dope entry. Peace... |
felt putrid breath down my back…