Open Mic: True Lords |
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Alien365 
Groupie 
Joined: 31 December 2020 Status: Offline Points: 43 |
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 Topic: True LordsPosted: 07 May 2025 at 7:53am |
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Heaven,
Where is the voidless deep? Betraying my monstrous sanity, is a thousand images of soulless entropy Fearless hell that you still won’t spell, come to tell me the grandest truth Attacking you by cornering cancer, preparing to match words until a seven is answered Painless abyssal faces, training my arrangement of spaceships Making your Hades, I’m still stuck in the phases Straining universal heartbeats, I parse weak that my stars leap Hours of heaven in the towering reflection I’m still prouder than intention of towering mentions Insanely still Satanic spill, liquid that will never heal So arrange me, I destroy the darkness which is carcass And my soul will forever be cardless Waiting until it’s time for your heavenly pollution |
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Stalin
Site Moderator 
Joined: 24 November 2003 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2599 Crew: Renegades Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-12-2 Form: LNWWLW |
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Posted: 24 May 2025 at 8:54pm |
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You obviously have a clear talent of rhyming, the whole piece was cohesive, easy to read and flowed very well.. you show a great understanding of writing mechanic..
Painless abyssal faces, training my arrangement of spaceships Making your Hades, I’m still stuck in the phases Straining universal heartbeats, I parse weak that my stars leap Hours of heaven in the towering reflection I’m still prouder than intention of towering mentions That was my favorite part, the multi syllables were on point. |
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+Sick-Witted+
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Senor Perfecto
Veteran 
1st Battle Winner! AM I 'ECK Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: Manchester Status: Offline Points: 3279 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: #6 Stats: 66-36-2 Form: WLWLWL |
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Posted: 29 May 2025 at 2:05pm |
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Nah, man...
It may have sounded poetic and abstract, but there were a lot of meaningless lines... That was basic... like making music with just a few chords, True lords bring the truth forth with brute force, If hanGing was around, he'd fuck rhymes and choose gore, But Stalin, for a clear talent of rhyming, I'd choose yours, You're reppin' a doomed cause... I find these newbs flawed, So, I take pleasure in exposing these pussies like nude whores, That's why I only view boards and forums when I'm too bored, My crew soared due north, but when you lose wars you're bruised sore, That's what happened when Orion and I feuded and drew swords, The beef escalated... I was baited and grew horns, I discriminate against Muslims, but I hate Jews more, They say that I should go woke, but these are whose laws...? Adios...
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Sammy
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Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2227 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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Posted: 21 June 2025 at 1:57am |
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vote/ Senor Perfecto
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