Open Mic: 56 |
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Freeda5thDawg
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Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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Topic: 56Posted: 18 July 2007 at 9:11am |
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Let ya heads bump - Thumps to the beat bass and functions- -
The sweet taste of junctions the streets spray to drum hits- - The lung trip up to tongues - One spit of sickness- - Submits the mission to crush gifts ya fit with- - The 5th is - The definition of this excellence in literary... Visionary - Within every lyric varies shit I hit to bury- - Niggaz isn�t ready to commit to this my pen is tearing- - More vivid than the kid of Mary- - The diction carries illnesses I build with every... Print so vicious like the kin is married with a villain�s sharing- - Ya shit is fairy - Very wary up against this dominance- - The end is obvious when men use confidence to bend my opulence- - Upon the top I�m off the shit - Wash the targets- - You�re only seen as a vet - Cause you�re not so hard bitch- - I stop the nonsense - If you step into this game- - You won�t live to see Free like an executed slave- - Dawg my text can cure a plague - So fuck Raamses- - My hands cease more fam�lies than stampedes of banshees- - This man be astounding the pros - Take the crowns and the thrones- - I�ll bound to throw you a line - You still drown in the flow- - So bow to my soles - My words pound with the shout of a chrome- - Seeping down through ya dome - BLAOW and you gone- - The caliber-tone sound that I own - Deep in my veins- - Had the flow on lock for days - Like the keys were misplaced- - I can easily say - None can touch the levels I found- - Unless my punches uppercut to keep ya head in the clouds- - Leaving temperatures down - The cold-hearted artist- - The flow parts the pardon - Catch souls off the carcass- - I don�t tone down the arson - A criminal mind-state- - Who visually evolved from a bishop to primate- - Inflictions of rhyme play will hit till ya spine breaks- - Lyrical is typical like lift�s in the crime rate- - I sign shame in ya brain so it�s in over ya head- - It�d be a showdown if you didn�t show up instead- - Blow up with rep? - I�ll choke up ya chest- - Soaked up in red - Without the clothes or throwing up sets- - Solar finesse - Polar cadet - The soldier who shreds... Those who connect words more fucked up than hoes with turrets- - The force I project - Can break a boulder to bread crumbs- - Throwing a dead chump in dumps - Knowing it�s messed up- - Froze from the neck-up - Brain freezes reciting... Incites - Opposite of Saint Jesus with fighting- - I paint pieces with lightning - A great genius confining... The games regions are trying to play Cesar in rising- - These fake geezers implying they make ether when writing- - I say either you�re lying - Or may-be you ain�t trying- - Flame-Freezing alliance - Skills are double standard- - I�m off the hook when I shine like old Russian banners- - My punch can damage faith - These lungs contaminate... More chumps disbanding veins like a bunch of animes- - The hand I play�s a full deck with seven dices- - The pen can write shit more lethal than a thread of weapon ciphers- - Like heaven�s nicest - I�m righteous off the top- - And if a battle is the case - I�m tying up the box- - You�ll die lying on the spot like Johnnie Cochran- - I got this - With no conscious that I just shot the hostage- - ... |
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DressToKill
Superior Member
Joined: 27 June 2006 Location: Canada,New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 6876 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 78-62-0 Form: LLWWWL |
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Posted: 18 July 2007 at 5:28pm |
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Only read about half but the multies blow me away along with flow...also dope line with the ''more vivid than the kid of mary''...nice man..1 question though..why always numbers on your peices?just curiosity really..but anyways il wrap it up by saying your writing skills attracts jelousy and keep it man -1-
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The original comeback kid
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Stalin
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Joined: 24 November 2003 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2599 Crew: Renegades Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-12-2 Form: LNWWLW |
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Posted: 18 July 2007 at 7:17pm |
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honestly ya rhymes scheme, flow, and multis always impress no matter how many times i seen your shit. very tight shit, keep it up
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mcwoods
Superior Member
Joined: 04 December 2006 Status: Offline Points: 4204 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 42-51-0 Form: LLLLWW |
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Posted: 19 July 2007 at 12:20pm |
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You won�t live to see Free like an executed slave- -
This man be astounding the pros - Take the crowns and the thrones- -
I�ll bound to throw you a line - You still drown in the flow- - So bow to my soles - My words pound with the shout of a chrome- - Seeping down through ya dome - BLAOW and you gone- - Blow up with rep? - I�ll choke up ya chest- -
Soaked up in red - Without the clothes or throwing up sets- - Solar finesse - Polar cadet - The soldier who shreds... Those who connect words more fucked up than hoes with turrets those where my favourite lines
flow was tight, lines were full of imagery, felt a bit more of a punchline feel to it which was nice, some nice wordplay / metapores in there and of course the multis were bang on. an enjoyable read, n' alot to take in lol. how do you go about doing pieces like this? would you say, come up with 1 phrase, then just start writing and put in more phrases/words that rhyme with it or do you come up with a phrase, then come up with rhymes for it.. then worry about the sentences etc. or something else lol i duno. nice piece tho. |
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Freeda5thDawg
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Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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Posted: 20 July 2007 at 11:13am |
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its mostly due to the multis...wen im in da right rhythm, i start to blur out different multis and if theres a multi that can be manipulated into a punch or jus a simple similie/metaphor, i run wit it...Like wen i began wit the "Literary" rhyme scheme, visionary came out, lyrics vary, and finally "kid of Mary" fit well and i developed that into a simple metaphor...and dress, i number the pieces dat i usually key or are on the battle oriented side mostly...nonetheless, thanks for the feed guys...
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mcwoods
Superior Member
Joined: 04 December 2006 Status: Offline Points: 4204 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 42-51-0 Form: LLLLWW |
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Posted: 20 July 2007 at 1:42pm |
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cool, thanks for the info.... ill try it out
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Demonic
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X Fade II Joined: 06 August 2004 Location: Cardiff Status: Offline Points: 3463 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-4-0 Form: LLWLLW |
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Posted: 20 July 2007 at 2:15pm |
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One of the best on this site by far in the open mic section...
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Fatal
Superior Member
...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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Posted: 20 July 2007 at 2:42pm |
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^Word...
Loved it free...tight metaphors and sick imagery
...1
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