Forum LockedText Battle Archive: [T]Joffy428 VS stalin

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joffy428 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: [T]Joffy428 VS stalin
    Posted: 24 October 2022 at 4:10am
6 bars 12 lines
72 hours
GET READY HERE WE GO!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 October 2022 at 9:33am
Stalin you look like NOT a stallion more like. A fake medallion that i bet a fake bullet Goes through like its nothin lifes hard for a stupid Person who never knew that.

But forget you like your X did She will never forgive u how U turned FAG! When she heard u BRAG! HOW U GOT IT BAD! WHEN U DID HARDCORE TWEAKERPORN! She was so mad to feel unlucky so she got revenged and did a bukakke!now she feels all lucky AND not yucky

Battle me u wished you battled last years version wouldve been easier story is cut short when i erase U with an eraser There can only be one KILLER- WHEN u nightmared sumthin like dog eat dog or killed or be killed! But Beware stay still AND get drilled another funeral TO get Billed

But Thats just Money make money to get poonanie is what they say is SO AS I WALK THROUGH THAT VALLEY I SAY IS that ur auntie? no way! is that your mom! Your grandma? Looks familliar i swear i seen em with my uncle Before si mr. Pogi a.k.a handsome uncle Joffer.




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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2022 at 6:09am
Joff must be smokin weed wit thoughts of provoking me, showing your flaws atrociously
Could never see me in lines unless your packin all of my groceries
flow is a joke to me, grow up vocally before tryin to approach an awoken beast
Evokin peace, til i had to Under Take the fact he needs to be choken... sleeped..
U aint versatile, no verse is wild, lyrics equivalent to an orphaned child
Shoulda died in the birth canal, no yearbook photos, wasnt worth the smile
I already JonBenet'd you, were murdered by 6
Rhymes so simplistic, ive never heard of this bitch
You shouldnt have challenged me, you see the vet status
Your 0-12, get back to school and get to your next classes
+Sick-Witted+
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2022 at 6:49pm
Not a good battle tbh

Joff you need to dumb it down bro. Be more creative/harsh/wittier man. You pretty much made up a bunch of shit and attempted to rhyme it all(kind of). Just mostly generic/kindergarten disses not trying to be a dick head but you need to work some things out bro


Stalin idk if you read his verse and just keyed something up but this verse was light. You did enough though to win. Had actual punches, allot of filler but your verse was more tuned thanks Joffs


V/Stalin
1-2 Season 1 Final Champ
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 October 2022 at 12:06am
Joffy- Other than saying stalins name one none of you verse is personal to him. None of what you wrote held any real weight as a punch bar goes.. Your form was terrible which chopped your flow. Flow helps set up punchlines and personals. I suggest looking up older battles and seeing the styles and flows that are successful then getting creative with your punchlines. There are tons of rap battles to watch on you tube as well....

Stalin- I slightly disagree with beans.... I found the first 6 lines clever and hard. you came with some creative shit.... wasnt as personal as you normally get with your punches but when battling a newer member its to be expected. the under take/ under taker line killed it for me.. if thats what you were going for the choking under take connected in my brain.... lol 

VOTE- Stalin easy 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 October 2022 at 9:23am
Joffy - your verse was quite simple. You had frequent rhymes, but your disses were basic and you didn't really attempt any punchlines. In a short battle a lack of punchlines will hurt you and make your verse less impactful. I think you're quite reliant on your rhymes to create your rhythm, so if you reduced the amount of rhyming you'd be writing more prose like, so you have a challenge of how to improve your flow so you don't need to rhyme so frequently and then you can have more flexibility to think about how to land harder disses/punches. For what it's worth I'd consider moving to a shorter line format, as I think over the longer term that would help you improve your rhythm.

Overall it was an ok verse, that didn't do a great deal of damage to opponent.

Stalin - your verse was fine, clearly used your experience here. Implicitly your style was a lot more refined than your opponent, much more complexity but equally much more control so it felt effortless. I liked the orphaned child one. Couple of the others were quite simple, but you didn't really need to stretch and I think you knew it. A simple punchline with complex rhymes and smooth flow is better than what you were up against. I would've liked to seen a bit more attitude and disdain coming through from you, you could've played up your reputation relative to him more for my liking...it wasn't necessary to win, of course, but I think if you're going to battle then it's worth pushing yourself to be more creative in terms of battle approach than you were. You have that in your locker, I would've liked to have seen it.

Overall it was a solid enough verse that more than did the job required in this one.

Vote = Stalin for a more sophisticated and clinical battle verse.

3-0 KO to Stalin.
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