Open Mic: a wee random |
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jaydee 
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Joined: 17 April 2012 Status: Offline Points: 123 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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 Topic: a wee randomPosted: 20 April 2012 at 1:32am |
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my style and my flow is so eclectic
lookin at ur face is like a contraceptive
i'm so sick and tired of two faced bitches
dont fuckin blame me cuz ur wee dick itches
i'd sooner pluck a pube out my vageena and eat it
it thats wat it takes t make ur stinkin ass beat it
it's not my fault i wouldnt fuckin touch ya wit a barge pole
i'm the maverick but i dont need a dick to rape you
yes i am rude i lik to curse it makes me feel gud
as long as you let me i'll be here to fuckin hurt you
and when i stop breathing its then u can say u beat me
you can take my rhymes finally you'll have decent shit to spit
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jaydee
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 1:34am |
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i'm not home, its just a wee random freestyle
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Adziano
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 3:08am |
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lol at plucking a pube.. it take it ur a girl then?
Your wee freestyle flowed ok, I'd have a read at a few other peeps work if I was you. Have a look how they structure their writing with multi-syllable rhyming, how when they're on the offence there's always like an idea behind the line.. shit that makes you think. For a clowning on people sort of style it was ok.. but just a heads up, if you were to take lines like that into a battle against anybody half decent you'd lose. I'm not trying to be a dick or condescending.. I remember what it was like starting out for me about 10 years ago. Everybody has to start somewhere. Have a read at some other verses (Hall of Fame would probably be a good place to start if you're planning on battling) and keep thinking of rhymes, concepts and keep posting whatever pops into your head and try to develop you're own unique style. Shit doesn't exactly happen overnight but you'll be amazed at fast you'll progress. |
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Adz
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jaydee
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 9:31am |
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not condescending at all adz, ur completely right. i was just sayin wee stupid things in head and wrote it down.
ive never wrote anythin down for anyone t see before and i been writin words yrs. ill take all the criticism man its all gud.
cheers
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J Sass
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Joined: 24 June 2009 Location: Omaha,Ne Status: Offline Points: 1918 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 12-7-3 Form: WWWNNN |
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 9:37am |
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i wanna hear hear you rap with your accent...
but yes this was random...but keep writin....it all comes together Sass
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jaydee
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 9:41am |
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the accent where i live sounds shit for rappin, there has t be a wee turn in the accent to get the msg out, to make it listenable, but then a very good american rapper rapped wit an english accent yrs ago. |
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J Sass
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 9:42am |
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WHO???????????????
lol Sass
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jaydee
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 9:53am |
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im gonna google it cuz i cant mind his bloody name, but i watch a lot of shows on music channels bout rappers in yjde 80's, top 100 rhymes, ya know shit like that. it was on one o those shows.
im serious lol
im pretty sure i was sober watchin it, otherwise i need to re-think a lot of things i 'know' lol
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J Sass
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 10:38am |
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lol well let me know when you find out
Sass
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Manc
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 11:33am |
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The Northern Irish accent on girls as gotta be one of the sexiest I know .....
but anyways - this weren't too bad. Few lines nearer to the end seemed to not rhyme - at least on a first read anyway. It's good you felt comfortable enuff to post ya lyrics seein as you've never done that before. I'd like to see what you can come up with when you concentrate instead of freeing. Keep em coming tho - practice makes perfect |
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jaydee
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 11:52am |
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Haha def not sexy accent
a mate o mine in warrington says a guy she works wit is a great rapper. must get his name see if ya heard of him.
it prob rhymed in head lol but then im a bit simple
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just2smooth
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Joined: 20 April 2012 Status: Offline Points: 26 |
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 6:06pm |
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it still sounded pretty good though, maybe can use a little work on some parts but you definitly have the concept down, maybe work on your metaphores and all that and you would definitly catch alot of peoples eye, nice flow tho bro!!
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Adziano
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 10:52pm |
Na dude, def not. Swedish is the sexiest. The thing about our accent is it's like a Scottish/Irish hybrid so it's unique.. so's our dialect. The thing I genuinely love about all the UK and Ireland is that you can go 20-30 mins down the road and find somebody with a complete different accent and diction... and not because of class differences, just regional variations. |
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Adz
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Adziano
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Posted: 20 April 2012 at 10:57pm |
Don't put yourself down so much.. let us do that for you :P Just keep at it.. anything that sticks in your head or provokes a thought is worth writing down. |
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Adz
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Calibre
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Posted: 26 April 2012 at 2:44am |
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your lines aren't as bad as you think they are, definately seen worse, just keep at it! :)
also want to add - its good to see so many other artists being supportive and giving kind words to people new to this, definitely encourages other new people such as myself to upload some lines here!
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jaydee
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Posted: 26 April 2012 at 9:44am |
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awws cheers guys, ya wee pets  |
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Manc wrote: