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IZIAH 
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Joined: 31 August 2012 Location: alberta, Canada Status: Offline Points: 2041 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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 Topic: JBrenn VS IZIAHPosted: 02 August 2013 at 6:17pm |
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5 bars (10 lines)
the rest house rules you'll post first. no deadline this is my check bro.
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JBrenn
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Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3778 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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Posted: 03 August 2013 at 2:04am |
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Check ill be on this weekend. So I'll do some writing soon.
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JBrenn
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Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3778 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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Posted: 04 August 2013 at 6:41am |
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ok.
So this wrestling fiend gets mouthy but he knows ill snap and smack a jabroni sleaze... Ill spin you B and hand this noob L's like macaroni and cheese...* I walk to your home knife your dome get you choked up on your own piss... My punchlines been known to damage eyes(I's) up like a fucked up optometrist... Ill run up on your porch Actually ill force in your doors call me Jim Morrison... Im the GODFATHER got you screaming leaving your voice HORSE again... While this boy is toying guys Im raining punchlines of annoying size... Enjoy this site(sight) im like being to close to the screen im destroying eyes... 'I can see through you' so i pull the straps and leave you with holes in heart... Now i revert to the start I know you fake but your death in the ring gonna be real owen hart...** * a B backwards is a D the b in noob gets spun Noob L's(Noodles) Macaronie ELbows look like L's he has a bunch of Losses.... ** his avi is a dude who is see through and Owen Hart died in the ring of wwf jabroni is a wrester term used by older wrestlers wrestling is fake but his death was real... uhhh yea.. again i like to get complex with the word play tell me if you guys arnt feeling it. i wana grow as a writer so feed back please even if this kid noshows. thanks yall
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JBrenn
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Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3778 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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Posted: 06 August 2013 at 4:22am |
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Iz dont forget to drop homie!
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JBrenn
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Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3778 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 12:42am |
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I no there's no dead line but damn homie.
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IZIAH
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Joined: 31 August 2012 Location: alberta, Canada Status: Offline Points: 2041 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 1:28am |
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Why you serious??? that jokes in your head
things gettin' to you like heath, now your dead
O.D from meds, capitalized JB
Spitting on fans, now your yellin' save me!
cuz i ain't a belieber, 'J'ustin 'B'renn
make sure you tweet right, adjust and send
must offend, currupt and destroy you
you can 'bomb' and lose as long as you deploy nukes
your a decoy dude, sigs joker, heath ledger
fuck expos.. lol.
i'll cut your mouth open so you'll never say never!
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IZIAH
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Joined: 31 August 2012 Location: alberta, Canada Status: Offline Points: 2041 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 1:30am |
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shit, stupid computer.
Why you serious??? that jokes in your head
things gettin' to you like heath, now your dead
O.D from meds, capitalized JB
Spitting on fans, now your yellin' save me!
cuz i ain't a belieber, 'J'ustin 'B'renn
make sure you tweet right, adjust and send
must offend, currupt and destroy you
you can 'bomb' and lose as long as you deploy nukes
your a decoy dude, sigs joker, heath ledger
i'll cut your mouth open so you'll never say never
fuck expos and typos!!! lol.. |
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Vib.Klean
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Joined: 29 April 2013 Location: NYC Status: Offline Points: 1780 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 35-28-0 Form: LLLLLL |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 1:48am |
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V. Jbrenn
your first bar was aight. decent way to start off.seen the concept before. 2nd bar was another decent follow up,creative nameplay. 3rd bar felt horrocore ish, but iw as feelin it. more statementish. 4th was another nice lil nameplay with the eyes (i)again. closer was ok too Iziah: wasn't feeling your opening line, lacked the formation of an actual punchline. same for the 2nd which i didn't get either.3rd was aight.4th was ur best hit but it wasn't that hard tbh. closer was bleh, couldn't done alot more with it imo jbrenn just was more consistent and iziahs short bars werent holding him back , cuz his lines were lackin content. ur flow could of been tighter too tbh. |
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IZIAH
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Joined: 31 August 2012 Location: alberta, Canada Status: Offline Points: 2041 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 1:51am |
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aight klean, thanks for voting tho'.
1-0 Jbrenn
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Dougysnuggy
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Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 1:53am |
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No swaying ^
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Vib.Klean
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Joined: 29 April 2013 Location: NYC Status: Offline Points: 1780 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 35-28-0 Form: LLLLLL |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 1:54am |
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no doubt u know i fucks wit u iziah no hate so back off dougy
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Dougysnuggy
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Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 2:06am |
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Lmao, I was kidding.. Chill, dawg.
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IZIAH
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Joined: 31 August 2012 Location: alberta, Canada Status: Offline Points: 2041 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 2:10am |
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plz stop spaming this thread doug, if yah aint gonna vote, then dont even bother posting... i'm just saying bro. |
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Dougysnuggy
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Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 2:11am |
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I'll vote
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Dougysnuggy
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Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 2:14am |
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Lol, JBrenn gmv, IZIAH you didn't get personal. What you thinking dawg? You needa attack him. He's your prey. Youre an animal, let yourself out of the cage and fuck him up.
JBrenn , you only got this because you had some attempted punches and really no personals though. your lines are long as fuck though.. |
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IZIAH
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Joined: 31 August 2012 Location: alberta, Canada Status: Offline Points: 2041 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 2:40am |
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thanks for voting doug
2-0 JBrenn
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JBrenn
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Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3778 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 7:50pm |
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Bump.
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Point Blank
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Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 8:10pm |
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JBrenn, your opener was a massive miss man. The art to battling is wording a punch so that as soon as you've read it it's like 'BANG'. That first punch was a mindfuck and I had to read your explanation, even then it's still a bit iffy. Your second bar was decent. Next bar was a miss for me too. Your 4th bar was decent but it was far too similar to your second bar, in a short battle like this you shouldn't be repeating the same concept twice. Closer was ok, nothing special, bit too generic for me. Overall I thought this was an OK verse, no killer blows and a couple of misses, but the two eyes plays were cool.
Iziah, first off your flow and rhymescheme were alot more effective than JBrenn's. Your content however was nowhere near as good. Your opener was too basic, the wording was terrible. It was just a statement; yea you refered to his sig with the heath thing, but you didn't word it into being a proper punchline. With the JB thing you could have made a sick punch out of the whole 'spitting' thing but you didn't. That seems to be a running theme throughout your verse, and like JBrenn with the whole 'eyes' thing, you started repeating your concepts with the JB and heath ledger things. Have a fresh concept every bar! JBrenn took this
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JBrenn
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Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3778 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 8:22pm |
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Thanks point!
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Point Blank
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Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Posted: 08 August 2013 at 8:49pm |
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JBrenn wins 3-0
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