1-2 Punch League: Vellum vs Trizzy Tre (1-2 league week 3) |
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Rutter knows best 
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Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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 Topic: Vellum vs Trizzy Tre (1-2 league week 3)Posted: 13 September 2016 at 11:30pm |
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Due Thursday midnight Yank time
You fuckin know the rules, let's get it.
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#bananas
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Trizzy Tre
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Joined: 28 March 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5101 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 30-7-1 Form: WLWLWW |
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Posted: 16 September 2016 at 4:09am |
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.....This was Vellum's last punch last week: He better try to be safe and find a fire escape Cuz i spit flames that'll lay 'S down flat' like 'Clark Kent when he irons his cape!' yo.. Clark Kent? Ur bar blends with Super Hero's that can't dup me... the only time 'Vel-kill-more' when watching the original Batman movie!!! (Val Kilmer) |
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Vellum
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Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 16 September 2016 at 7:51pm |
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I'll beat this kid to death
Just to deplete him of his rep & have 'Tre see morgue n' coffin' Like 'A Comedian with Strep!!'// * ( Tracy Morgan coughin') |
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Vellum
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Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 16 September 2016 at 8:36pm |
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I'll beat this kid to death just to deplete him of his rep
& have 'Tre see morgue an coffin' like 'A Comedian with strep!!' ( Tracy Morgan coughin') i just had to post the bar again so i could fix the structure |
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3263 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 16 September 2016 at 8:38pm |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. OK.. Tre your bar was good as punches/personals go,there are how- ever a few inaccuracies,the original Batman was Michael Keeton, and Batman doesn't kill,the purists in me (where super hero's are concerned),makes me feel your punch lost some weight.. vellum your bar was also good,the wordplay was ripe too,this only enhanced your punch,plus I thought your personal on the name flip was decent,your set up had a decent tempo about it, nothing to major though.. Overall,I did like these bars by both on display,both had a good flow about them too,but for me this round has to have a winner,and for me that was Vellum,here's why,Tre bar was good on the face of it,but the errors showed up badly here, sorry Tre if this seems harsh.. Vote...Vellum..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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intrikit
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I am Vib. Klean Joined: 11 September 2015 Status: Offline Points: 370 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-4-0 Form: WLLLL |
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Posted: 16 September 2016 at 8:42pm |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Clark Kent? Ur bar blends with Super Hero's that can't dup me... the only time 'Vel-kill-more' when watching the original Batman movie!!! (Val Kilmer) vs Clark Kent? Ur bar blends with Super Hero's that can't dup me... the only time 'Vel-kill-more' when watching the original Batman movie!!! (Val Kilmer) tre you had a good set up, it was good until the force at the end, if I say it out loud it doesn't work, kind of a reach, good punch, loved the concept but fell a bit short imo Vellium great punch, I don't like how you put it in 4 segments, should of just done it in 2 lines, but regardless this worked good, loved the nameplay, you didn't force it as much as tre and it came off smooth. also flowed great. this was a close battle but I gotta go with vellium for better accuracy and punching power here. the concept connected better and didn't feel unnatural. tres was good too but I have to go with one so v/Velium. V/Velium gonna have to go w/ vellium, good battle |
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Goryo.
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Joined: 28 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 431 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-0 Form: LWLWLW |
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Posted: 16 September 2016 at 10:36pm |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Tre: Your punch had a lot of creative potential man but it wasn't executed right. Obviously the Michael Keaton thing and accent on the pun have been brought up but what kills it for me is abandoning the grammar to make the pun happen. To me it has to sound grammatically correct in both senses. It did in the 'kill more' way but 'the only time Val Kilmer when watching the original Batman movie' doesn't make sense. Never sacrifice one for the other but I appreciate the creative direction. Yet to see you firing on all cylinders in this league. Vellum: Good show. The wordplay came off smooth and the flow / rhymes were up to standard. Can't really say much else about it. It did what it had to do and I'm feeling the original pun. Vote - Vellum
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 17 September 2016 at 2:24am |
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This vote has been disallowed by a moderator. tre, this was decent throughout but nothing too special. there was a good idea cooking but its execution wasn't up to standards. still I enjoyed the concept, also the fact that you were on time. vellum, this was actually a super dope line. hats off to you for that. I enjoyed everything about it, really nice job. too bad you were late.... mfvgt tre, for being on time.
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spume corrupt
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Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 17 September 2016 at 12:20pm |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Treacherous I like the concept you was going for did think it was a bit of a reach though, kinda messed up the punch to the point it didn't really make sense..good effort to connect but just finished up going wide Batman Another good concept here but with this one you kept it on point and delivered properly...this was a very skilled and well refined bar Vote Vellum for the extra polished look and superior punch Good battle |
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Skep
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Joined: 08 July 2014 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 498 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW |
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Posted: 17 September 2016 at 2:01pm |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Clark Kent? Ur bar blends with Super Hero's that can't dup me... the only time 'Vel-kill-more' when watching the original Batman movie! This was way better than last week, like the superhero theme, since he botched the it last week. Good set up to a decent jab with a personal tie, smart tactic. IMO vs I'll beat this kid to death just to deplete him of his rep & have 'Tre see morgue an coffin' like 'A Comedian with strep!! This was a pretty good jab as well, nice lil wordplay, my only thing is, it doessn't tie in well to the set up, I try to make this a thing, cuz how would a punchline really make sense. Overall - MVGT Tre, both took the same route and both delivered a decent jab IMO. I gave it to tre for delivering a cleaner jab with a nice tie and personal shot. Good job to both.
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