1-2 Punch League: Rutter knows best vs Vellum (1-2 week 4) |
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Rutter knows best
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Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Topic: Rutter knows best vs Vellum (1-2 week 4)Posted: 20 September 2016 at 11:35pm |
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Due Thursday 12 midnight
Youknow the rules
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#bananas
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Vellum
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Joined: 07 October 2013 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 492 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 24-2-1 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 22 September 2016 at 9:53pm |
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Even without the 'magazine' he'd have 'issues for weeks still
Peep skill when my heat spill the 'caps'll X R' like an 'extended release pill!!' XR - extended release medicine capsules/caps'll |
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Rutter knows best
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Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 22 September 2016 at 10:49pm |
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My attacks tailored to you, dude all you drop is throw aways, So watch me put a spike through V neck like a gothic clothing range Edited by Rutter knows best - 22 September 2016 at 11:06pm |
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#bananas
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Droidian
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BIG GAME KILLER! Joined: 07 May 2016 Location: Toronto Status: Offline Points: 776 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 7-2-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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Posted: 23 September 2016 at 1:49am |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. ok. Vellum: i thought that this had a lot going on and employed some ambitious word play. the setup referenced the magazine in a nice play that unfortunately turned into a gun bar. then it moved into a double entendre that had the clear gun angle and then the pharmacological one. where i think this runs into difficulty is that the setup had the gun ref/la mag ref... and then the punch switches to gun refs and pharma refs to finish it... so the setup has RKB either continuing to have 'issues' or theoretically would have issues. ..stage set...so the punch is gonna address it...so you're gunning him down...Xing him out in the same manner that long acting medication does. ..so there are logic issues here. ..if you're skilful with them heaters then the kill will be immediate. .extended release medications have prolonged effects that take a bit longer to reach the desired effect. .. so which is it? the double meanings are working at cross purposes so while it was beautiful in its coupling...when broken down it negates itself. helluva of a blend tho RKB: i like you brought a clothing angle. .especially considering the nature of his moniker. it did seem that he did have some material that related to you..so the 'throw aways' wasnt quite as effective... i thought the punch landed nicely enough. ..liked the V neck to gothic clothing line finish...thought the multi was really sweet too... v to RKB... but mad props to both for a really entertaining tilt |
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Concrete
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Joined: 02 September 2013 Location: Oslo Status: Offline Points: 1424 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 33-6-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 23 September 2016 at 4:05pm |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Vellum, mag\issues is pretty played, concept in second line was cool but sorta entangled, still a decent bar, ol skool text vibes Rut, pretty hardhitting imo, V neck\V's neck is minor stretch but no biggie. Setup worked well here also. Vote Rut for leanest cleanest meanest punch
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Kiki Spirez
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Joined: 30 December 2008 Location: Chesterfield Status: Offline Points: 4375 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 68-26-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 23 September 2016 at 4:56pm |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. V; I liked this bar. Clever attempt. Had to read it a couple of times to catch the flow and punch, but once I got it, I enjoyed it. Found the wording in the first line a bit forced thoo, came off as just to fit your punchline. Props tho. Rut; Simple, but effective. Only criticism is that the first line coulda linked. But at the end of the day, you had a clever punch and nameplay, that worked without insane internals or expos - thats skill. Mvgt; Rut. But not by much. |
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3263 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 23 September 2016 at 8:07pm |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Vellum i tthought this was a good bar on the whole,the wordplay was good also,I do feel it lacked a real personal though,yeah you mention the mag/issues,i get it,but it was aimed pretty loosely to be honest,the play helped though,I liked the concept too,the punch was present and hit,not a heavy blow but still decent.. RKB i thought your bar was also good,on the basic side though. the punch was delivered well here,you too except for 1 letter was loose in the personal department also,your bar was more direct and to the point,which I like,again the play was simple but worked well within the punch. Overall pretty even really,both had their moments here,but the better overall punch dis belong too RKB,and the better wordplay and a good punch entow belonged to Vellum,so it's tough to call, but I'm going to give this to Rut's,here's why,not only did he have the heavier landing punch,it also had that lol factor too, so unlucky here Vellum,props though.. Vote..RKB..(just).peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Goryo.
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Joined: 28 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 431 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-0 Form: LWLWLW |
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Posted: 25 September 2016 at 9:27am |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Vellum: Original approach and the wordplay was fresh if a little forced. Where creativity is concerned this punch is right up there but its downfall is the wording. Rut: Not quite as personal or complex but it did have a simple and clear message. The wording was fine with me which is another important factor. Good battle again but Rutter's simple and comedic bar took it for me. Not to take anything away from the originality of Vellum's line but I think the concept could've been presented better. Vote - Rutter |
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