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Bolo 
Standard Member 
¡Ke Viva La Fuckin' Revolución! Joined: 11 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1397 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-4 Form: NWLNNN |
 Topic: R1) Kay B vs. I-See-GripsPosted: 12 September 2008 at 11:06pm |
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First to 5 or 3KO Crew Votes Allowed ALL Votes MUST be explained Vote swaying will be deleted Only Verses and Votes allowed, all else will be removed. No bitching, use the thread provided If you cant make the deadline see me BEFORE the deadline or you'll be treated as a no-show (IMPORTANT: If you don't think you will be able to make it, the sooner you make me aware of it, the better, as a reserve will be selected to take your place.) All verses must be in by: Saturday, 20th of September 2008 at 12:00 AM EST (that's Midnight on Friday) Theres no "you spit first", all verses have the same deadline so dont wait for your opponent. DO NOT POST YOUR VERSE. PM your verse to me! if you have problems PM'ing it to me, my email address is in my profile. If you have to e-mail your verse, make sure you title of the e-mail reads: "(your username) - Round 1 verse vs. (your opponent)". NO EXCUSES. Votes will last for 1 week from when the verses are posted. If you finish your verse ahead of the deadline, send it to me as soon as possible. Verses will be posted and the battles opened for votes as soon as both verses are received. Edited by Bolo - 12 September 2008 at 11:07pm |
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I am the one that knocks...
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Bolo
Standard Member
¡Ke Viva La Fuckin' Revolución! Joined: 11 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1397 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-4 Form: NWLNNN |
Posted: 15 September 2008 at 2:38am |
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ISG:
All the best Kay Oh Kay, now ya wack bitch time to drop ya text shit No doubts about it Grips taking you out for a swift exit Punching you up so hard that ya brains are sent vague Got that Kay ya got no way to remain in the 10th plague What an take a W into the 2nd round, then best Hope an Pray B See breaks and troubles you cos theres just no fuckin Way B Bitch I'm moving fast now but still droppin you this L on the way Ya hear me bro the only escape is No Show still it makes you a Nay Onwards for See though ya dik I'm more talented yes an drop sweeter So you say you handle wrappers its true, but kid so do all shop keepers. Expos: Just one that might need explaining relating to the closer: Kay is a shopkeeper according to profile. Kay B: It's a damn shame kid, round one ya can't see passed Only thing im pissed about is tellin bolo i DIDNT want a free pass! Seen you dodgin calls, now ima leave u runnin for good Cause you MUST be a pussy the way u succumbing to woods You sucked against sage man, sorry i gotta say the truth 40 yrs old? dude even steve carrel's gettin more play than you! Heard ya battle with sage, what the fuck was that dude? Switched from text to topical..to audio...and sucked at that too! Losing to the weakest noob?, nah it just aint like me bitch Like the best figure skater.. i aint NEVER fallin' to icey grips Yup...You going home Edited by Bolo - 15 September 2008 at 2:38am |
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I am the one that knocks...
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I-kontinue
Veteran 
The Sovereign Joined: 14 July 2004 Status: Offline Points: 4961 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: #3 Stats: 46-9-0 Form: WWWWWL |
Posted: 15 September 2008 at 9:47am |
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ISG...
Opening punchline was weak. Very generic line... Barely a punch... You need to attack your opponents directly... 3rd and 4th lines... Same thing as the opener... It's a lil' more relevant because you said "10th Plague", but that was about it... No hit at Kay B... So far, it seems like you're threatening him, but not actually hitting... 5th and 6th lines... Wow... Same problem... Why don't you DISS him instead of just saying he can't beat you in multiple different ways?! And if you're gonna say he can't beat you in different ways, either add a personal proving the fact or add a lil wordplay in there to make the reader more interested in what you're saying. 7th and 8th lines... Okay, it's a tad bit better than the others with the no show idea thrown in there, but you're coming very indirect... 8th and 10th... These are your best lines, but the wrappers/rappers play is among the most PLAYED wordplays out there... This verse was way too generic... Basically, that whole verse besides the closer could have been used on ANYBODY in this tournament... That's not good... work on becoming more personal with your punches... Even generic and played wordplay would have worked better for you than your 1st 8 lines to be honest... Keep practicing... Gay B... 1st and 2nd lines... Not the illest of punches, but it's a nice way to clown someone you know you can top.. Couldn't use this against one of the Big Dogs though.. lol 3rd and 4th... It's a decent line due to the personal. You could have worked with it to make it harder hitting tho... Maybe adding a wordplay to it like "woods been playing him like his name was weezy", i'd prolly word it better, but i'd use a concept like that... but you get the idea... spice shit up if possible. Just a little extension of a concept can do so much for the way a line hits... 5th and 6th... it's okay, not the illest, but solid enough... direct use of a personal... if you're consistent with lines like this, you won... or you could actually fall off after this and still win in my opinion... 7th and 8th... Seems pretty played. i've seen alot of figure skating lines on icez already, but your worst line is still better than or equal to i-see-grip's best one, which was a played wordplay... This verse did the job easily... May have to step it up next round tho, depending on your opponent... Watch it be me. Lol... Easy win for Kay B though... |
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mcwoods
Superior Member 
Joined: 04 December 2006 Status: Offline Points: 4204 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 42-51-0 Form: LLLLWW |
Posted: 15 September 2008 at 12:04pm |
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ISG - flow n' multis where decent, apart from that, like ikon said - look at your verse, yes it was well constructed etc, but this is a battle verse... not freestyling etc, you didnt attack you opponent with clever, personal plays and punches, last bar was an attempt at a personal, but like IK, said - wrappers/rappers is played out.. more of those types of punch tho, every punch was, im gonna beat u, you going out etc, no one wants to hear that, you gotta dig up personal info and turn it into a creative punch gonna get SLAYED, B - opener was a pretty obvious punch but well worked, everyone using mwoods as a shot lol, this was decent, tho the woods/dick thing gettin a little played out lol, next two bars where okay - line 8 being the best, tho the set ups where kinda missed match, mentioning sage then repeating you heard it, sounded a little off, and closer was a solid play, obviously a verse done cause you knew what was needed, good punches, decent personals with his age and battle with sage, tho obviously it will need to be stepped uop against others in the comp. vote - "Kay B's wack - what you need that boy for?" |
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Senor Perfecto
Veteran
1st Battle Winner! AM I 'ECK Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: Manchester Status: Offline Points: 3279 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: #6 Stats: 66-36-2 Form: WLWLWL |
Posted: 15 September 2008 at 1:21pm |
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I-S-G... the whole verse was full of indirect statements with no lyrical elements or punches apart from the closing line... which was weak anyway... A very poor verse...
Kay B... a similarly styled verse to your opponent's... Personals rhymed but were not combined with other elements to form intelligent punches... The closing line was a rare display of wordplay... though played... Overall... a far from complex verse... but just enough to win... Vote: Kay B... Adios...  |
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Bolo
Standard Member
¡Ke Viva La Fuckin' Revolución! Joined: 11 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1397 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-4 Form: NWLNNN |
Posted: 15 September 2008 at 1:27pm |
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and just like that.....Kay B is through to round 2, thanks for voting.
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I am the one that knocks...
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