Text Battle Archive: - Topical - _Acid vs Smooth_

24 lines.
Topic: - "From the POV of a monster, a beast or some such thing who dwells in his own evil surroundings, fighting a typical 'good guy' in himself.."
Expected finish - 72 hours

Oh I thought he was fighting like internal 'good side'. A monster on the outside, but goodness inside.. However apparent it may be

72 Hours? uppin for Smooth to drop his verse!

Its cool, just checking to see if you forgot or something, do drop at some point though

I cleaned up and rode out to a whole crowd of fanatics..
..steal buffed of mold, grout, and chromed out in acids..   
Bolts found and fastened..
a cracked axle reinforced..
..for a dirt track as massive as a back mountain ski resort.
..pyrotechnics fizzled out and cracked against the back stands.
Fire exit signals through the black assist the trapped fans.
..i'm revved off the draw of an exhaust valve and locked foot.   
And crept aloft the pause as the fog fell like log wood.    
I'm a Monster of a truck.. solid black with sequenced stripes..
And a spot of luck from off the polish rag the previous night.   
Lighting was classically set - low and stadium style..
Through the silence scattered steps roamed the stone atrium tiles.   

I fought my pistons as they shot shy from the spark sphere..
The shock system sat in all confines of park gear.
Driver won and turnt me up and listened to the engine whine.
His visor scuffed and pursed shut and shifted for a second time..
Geared in and punched it just to see me stand straight up..
And I veered for a young chick with a kiwi champaign cup.
Retracted my breaks as the driver turned tighter..
And balanced sideways on the curbs of my tires.
Saw the stricken horror as it glistened off her dream-scape
And boxed through friggin torture as he lifted up the e-brake.
Skidded to a halt amidst the fears of the wide eyed.
As the bigot proves to fall to the interior nice guy.                    

Smooth takes this by heads and shoulders and it wasn't because Acids verse was bad either. Acid your verse had its strong points but you need more consistency within your verses. I felt like you drew me in by building the story up with nice internal rhyming but then the end of the line didn't rhyme? It threw the whole bar off which made me have to re read it which in turn threw the flow off. Smooth you must of known you hit gold with this verse..it was descriptive superior to any verse I've seen you write thus far which is impressive. You had great imagery and flow plus the story was bang on..well done.

Vote Smooth

Good battle

Well hey Smoith thanks for throwing in the best verse youve ever written against me xD appreciate it though DTK thanjs for the vote

Acid: You gave some imagery throghout your verse but just not enough. The rhyming reallly throws it off and you started early with the lack of rhyming so the verse started kinda dull. The concept was alright but it kind of drifted off at times.

3-0 ko smooth wins